e e cummings - i carry your heart with me

I am a huge fan of e e cummings. I like his style, I like the content, I just like it. Here is one of his poems I ran across this morning while skimming through a book of poetry. 


You can't read poetry and stay fake.
- D. Miller

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling) i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart )

happy friday

Happy friday.

It IS a happy friday (contrary to popular belief). This weekend I get to babysit two of my favorite boys. I also get to have coffee with katy, which I'm pretty excited about (she likes REI scratch and dent sale as much as I do!). I think Levi and I will finish registering for wedding stuff. And I get to see my family from their travels to Florida. My brother (I'm SO proud of him!) made it to state level competition for the AAA award this year, it's awarded on saturday. Sunday I'm looking forward to church and a VERY FUN trip to st. cloud with the bible study gang (minus the much loved and missed Kylee!).

But right now I need to be productive on silly papers and homeworks. I kinda wish college was over. But what a blessing it is to be able to receive a higher education. Many people don't get college, or any schooling for that matter. I like to learn. I like to read. College is a privilege. And it will be over soon enough :)

Isaiah 52:7

How beautiful on the mountains
       are the feet of those who bring good news,
       who proclaim peace,
       who bring good tidings,
       who proclaim salvation,
       who say to Zion,
       "Your God reigns!"

A good vacation

I have been thinking. What is a good vacation? What do I value in a vacation? I have made 5 points that will make any vacation enjoyable (to me).

1) A group of no more that 6 people. A group of people that is very close with and you know that they will always like to do similar things. So if you decide to go hiking either everyone is in or some people decide to do something else. Esentially I just don't want complainers on a trip.

2) I like to do things on vacation. You will not catch me sitting at the campsite or the hotle more than I need to. I like to get out and go hiking, biking, canoeing, you name it. But I do NOT want to sit around.

3) I like vacations where you can continually be active. And when you want to chill there is a cute local resturant or coffee house that you can read at. I like to go to a place that has character.

4) I do not like to feel like I am going somewhere and exploiting the people that actually live there. Having an awesome vacation at their expense isn't my idea of fun.

5) I like mountains WAY better than the ocean. I like the wide open WAY better than a busy town. I like quiet time WAY better than going to a club. I like a campfire WAY better than a fancy resturant. I like to make at least two of my own meals a day and bring my own (camping, climbing, biking, canoeing) gear.

That is what makes a good vacation for me!

What do you eat?

I would like to bring to your attention the issue of agrichemicals and the dire need to bring about reform in this area. I would first like to start by telling you about the Huichols in Mexico. They work on big corporate farms and these corporate farms use lots of agrichemicals, mostly pesticides. The Huichols cannot read the bottles of pesticides to even begin to understand how severely toxic these chemicals are to they’re bodies. They are not properly equipped to spray the crop fields that they are asked to. They get these chemicals all over their bodies and into their lungs. Some Huichols even mix the pesticides by hand because they have no other tool to mix the solution up with. These people get sick from the pesticides; most cases are never reported unless the person actually dies in a clinic. These people end up blind, paralyzed, riddled with cancer, and often dead. Children that are forced to work in these fields and in these conditions are often the ones most at risk due to their low tolerance to the toxins. Neither U.S. nor Mexican government does anything to regulate the toxins that are being used to control pests. According to a film ‘Fed Up’ there are about 32 pesticides that are being used in Mexico today that have been completely banned all over the world, yet we let these pesticides back into our country when we import the produce that has the toxic residue still on it. No one is benefitting from this other than the corporations that are making and selling the agrichemicals. We as consumers are still at risk by consuming these chemicals every time we sit down to a meal. It is well known that these chemicals are toxic and deadly to anyone who touches them. To avoid liability the companies that produce them promote ‘safe use’ and 'say' they give demonstrations on how to use the chemicals properly. The problem is that many countries do not have what is needed to safely apply the chemicals. Also, many of the people who apply the chemicals are unable to even read the labels that are on the bottles and have no way of even knowing that these are highly toxic chemicals they are dealing with. 


There are also many ecological costs as well as health risks. Birds in Central America are at risk because their food source is poisoned; this poisoning affects the bird’s reproductive organs. Fish in the same area get drowned in run off poison twice a year, and cattle eat the contaminated grass and are also poisoned. The poisoning does not only affect humans, but ecosystems as well. According to the articles ‘Circle of Poison’ a worker in a developing country dies ever MINUTE due to poisoning. 20% of the pesticides exported from the U.S. have been banned in the U.S. Even after a worker has showered twice there is still enough toxic residue in their skin to kill a goldfish in a bowl of water. 


We are also robbing cultures of the ability to provide for themselves. They are in debt to pesticide companies for life because they are trying to compete with the global food system in hope of finding a better life. 


Are you aware of where your food comes from? How it's produced? Who handles it? I challenge you to really think about these things. People all around the world are suffering because we want to eat berries during the winter, because we don't eat local foods, because we want our food to look perfect. 


Buy local, eat local. Plant a garden. Eat foods in season. Learn to cook. Eat less meat. There are a billion and one things you can do to change your way of eating. Don't benefit from other peoples hardships.

Good Morning!

It's a good morning. And this song is from me to you.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXGFKpWUOW0

I leave for Belize on Wednesday. I am VERY excited but maybe not as much as I should be. I have papers to write, tests to study for, things to plan, things to do when I get back and it almost seems like more of a chore to take a week off than a vacation.

I'm sure as soon as I get on the plane my attitude will change right away. I like flying. There isn't anything to do except listen to music, read, pray, or chat to the guy next to you. It's peaceful.

I painted my toes pink last night in celebration of wearing sandals without socks to church. It reached 38 degrees yesterday!! You know you're a good minnesotan when it reaches 38 degrees and you decide it's time to stop wearing jackets. Yes, it's almost time for spring. That's such a good feeling.

Summer will be here before we know it. And that is when the real fun will start. Summer evenings are the best. They are perfect for hanging out with friends till late and still being able to get up early for a bike ride. Eating breakfast in the driveway as the sun comes up, and listening to music.

Summer will be good. THIS summer will be great :)

The Joker

Thursday I walked in to the apartment building to get on the elevator to go to the third floor. There was a man standing with his back to me. The elevator dinged as I walked up to it and opened. So I got on. The man muttered something and turned around to get on the elevator and go up as well.

I saw his face.

There was blood all around his lips.

He looked exactly like the Joker.

I began to panic. He looked like the Joker, he muttered like the Joker...

He lifted his hand to his mouth and rubbed his lip. There was blood all over his hand now too. There was blood speckled on his white polo shirt. There was blood dripping on to the elevator floor!

I was terrified. Would I EVER make it to my apartment? Was there a gun in his plastic bag? Was I done for!?

He spoke.

"Sorry, I had 8 teeth pulled today..."

My heart jumped a little. I was going to be okay.

8 teeth????? How can you have 8 teeth pulled?

"I have to have 7 more pulled on monday..."

WHAT?? ouch.

I felt very sad for him. I could tell he was embarrassed and trying to hide the blood that kept dripping out his mouth.

"Need to get some gauss in my mouth"

I was at a loss for words. I felt bad for him. 8 teeth? And I was still slightly scared.

I got off at the third floor and said 'have a nice day'

...... 'have a nice day'????? How can you tell a man who has just had 8 teeth pulled to have a nice day?

Head vs. Heart

I know God.

I know a lot of things.

Sometimes it is so hard to let what you KNOW sink to your HEART. So that you can feel what you are thinking. When you feel it, you live it. When you have it in your heart you act and live in a new way, it reverberates in you. It becomes who you are and what you stand for. It becomes what you want your life statement to be.

I know it's not always easy to feel what you WANT to live. Failure is as consistent as breathing. Will I ever do this right? Will I ever be good enough? I know how I WANT to be but I always fall short. Wayyyyy too short. You could say that I fall LONG. And hard. It can be so discouraging.

Why can't I feel what I'm thinking? Why isn't it in my heart?

Dear God,

I want to live with a deep burning passion for YOU and you alone. I want to love. I want to touch people and show them compassion. I want to use what you have so graciously blessed me with to show YOUR love to the rest of the world. I want to be your hands and feet. I want to be a servant, your servant.

But I'm stuck God, I'm stuck. I need you to help me. I'm sick of failing, failing you.

~me

I need to pick up my broken pieces and give them to God. But before I can so humbly give God my pieces I need to pick them up. I have to make the first move. I have to choose to push on and not worry about failing. I have to get over my great fear of FAILURE. I can do ALL things thru God.... ALL THINGS. There is no failure there. There is no failure in God.

I trust he will lead me. I don't want my life to be a waste, a failed life. I will trust in Him. I will get it in my heart, on my heart. He will write it on my heart. And that will be my statement. I trust in Him at ALL times because with Him I can do all things.