You'll notice that today is not a thankfulness post (look at facebook to check that out) I just wanted to chat about God for a few seconds before I go to class.
In the past month or two I've been so focused on figuring out what I need to do with my life it's driven everyone (my husband, my mom, my dad, ML, probably Katy, the cat, the dog, and myself) INSANE. Being anxious and unsettled about my future makes me crabby, irritable, rude, quick to anger, easily frustrated (to the point of tears), and all-around a frazzled person. I feel empty and lost, like I don't have a plan or purpose. I'm not working toward a goal or a mission. (I'm a very driven person)
Last night at bible study we brought up the topic of surrender. I immediately thought 'surrender? no, i'm okay'. And I opened my bible and continued reading where I had left off the day before.
"There is a time for searching and a time to quit searching. " Eccl 3:6
Eccl 3:"9 What do people really get for all their hard work? 10 I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. 11 Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. 12 So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. 13 And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God."
Eccl 6: 9 Enjoy what you have (where you are) rather than desiring what you don’t have (where you could be in 5 years). Just dreaming about nice things (the future) is meaningless—like chasing the wind.
I think I have some surrendering to do. But last night as I fell asleep I felt content with where I was, that there isn't a future mission in sight just yet, and as I woke up in my head was the song 'you are my treasure' and I enjoyed my coffee this morning on my way to school as the sun was coming up over the hill and fog was still creeping along the ground. And I was happy.
"above all else give me Jesus, above the rest give to me the One my heart loves. You are my treasure, You are my treasure, the one I've been searching for, You are my hidden gold."